I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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