The brown eye won't let me do that either.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
