We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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