We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
should my penis look like a turkey
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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