Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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