her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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