Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
