on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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