stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
