I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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