He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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