No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
