3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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