Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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