What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I met the friendliest cop last night
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Man, jail baloney is awful.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
