found the other keg... it's in the tree
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
