There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
All I want is dick and wine.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
