you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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