I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
