So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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