he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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