we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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