I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
we're so committed to being not committed
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
