Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
