Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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