when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize