I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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