Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
