How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Randomize
