this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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