ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
