So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
