But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
