Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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