Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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