i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
