Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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