remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
