Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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