Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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