We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
