real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
