I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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