If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
