He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
