Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
