Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
