Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
