It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
this is an emotional support booty call
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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