Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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