Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
