I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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