so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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