Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
