we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
