Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize