so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
