I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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