He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
