This is not my ceiling
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
