Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
