butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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