just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
