It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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