The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
