I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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