i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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